


To The Top

by villaintohero



Series: Random School Drabbles [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Giving Up, I promise, Pain, Sadness, Training, Viktor as a child, Viktors a precious baby, Viktors past, and getting up again, being down to the ground, but it gets better, failing, feeling of being not good enough, just a random os i wrote in school, kind of comfort I guess?, this is actually so mean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 15:43:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8719486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/villaintohero/pseuds/villaintohero
Summary: Sometimes it may seem easier to stay on the ground, but you need to drag yourself to your feet again, if you want to succeed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Well, hello there!  
> Today in school, my girlfriend gave me some random topics on what I should write! And this came up in my mind!  
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Also, I'm german, so there may be some mistakes in there. It would be great if you could tell me :3

**Pain.**   
Pain ran constantly through his body, as sweat was dripping down his brow.

_One last time._

His feet felt like they were bleeding, while his muscles were aching.

_One last time._

 

He was gliding, almost flying over the frozen ground. Not showing any sign of weakness. His breath sharpened as he thought about the last jump he needed to do, to finish the days training. Just a few more seconds.

_Six… Five… Four…_

He held his breath, he would do it this time.

_Three… two…_

For a moment, he closed his eyes again, focusing all the concentration he could offer on that one last move.

_One._

Muscles tensed as he jumped.

 

_Not good enough._

 

A sharp pain ran through the boys body, as he hit the hard and cold ground. Immediately, he felt like his body would freeze. But frostbites were the least of his concerns at the moment, while hot tears ran down his cheeks and fell onto the ground.

 

_Not good enough._

 

“That’s enough for today. Go home, Vitya.”

Viktor didn’t say anything, just waited for Yakov to leave. How desperately he wanted to be alone.

Firs, he heard him sighing, followed by footsteps and a heavy door falling shut. He was alone. All by himself. Even his own coach had left and given up on him.

 

Finally, he let those tears he managed to hold in, out, pressing the palms of his hands over his beautiful eyes. Soft sobs echoed through the hall. The boy didn’t make an effort to get up just yet. The pain was too much and his thoughts were racing in his mind.

 

_Not good enough. Not good enough. Not good enough._

 

Out of desperation, he clenched his hands into fists, hitting the ground with one of them. Just once, but hard enough for the pain to hit him like lightening.

The boy didn’t care though. Viktor was just 14 years old, and he couldn’t care less about the pain in his body. Many people would call that sad, but for him, it was just pathetic. Pathetic to cry like this, pathetic that his body was betraying him. Pathetic that he was so weak.

 

_No, he wasn’t done yet._

 

Viktor pushed himself back to his feet, gasping as the pain in his limbs hit him once again. Still, soon after, he stood upright again, breathing heavily.

He would do it once again.

And so, Viktor did. Again, and again and again.

And he fell, hurt himself and cried countless times more.

 Not caring about the pain, not caring about his tiredness, not caring about the tears streaming down his face and blurring his vision. Mixed with the sweat that ran down his forehead.

 

**_Still, not good enough._ **

 

After years of training, he wasn’t even one step closer to his goal. To his dream. Doomed to fail and to never be on top of the world.

And the image of his dream, holding the gold medal in his hands got blurrier and blurrier.

 

Viktor was done. There was no use anymore. There was no use in staying any longer, just to feel his dream being crushed with each mistake and each fall he took.

  
Not good enough. And he was done with it.

 

He left the ice rink and changed into his normal shoes, not minding the bruises all over his feet, legs and even his arms, which tried so desperately to keep him from falling. It didn’t help at all though. Not minding the blood and the open wounds. Not minding at all. Just some tears left his eyes and fell to the ground.

 

It was over. No more.

 

The world of figure skating was too far out of his reach. And so, he gave up.

He had lost too many times, to get up again and shrug it off. It was over.

He left the hall, sweat stained greyish bangs stuck to his forehead. His usually lively bright blue eyes were red and filled with many more tears unshed. They were tired. Even at this young age, he felt tired of everything.

As he opened the door to step into the hallway, the boy froze in place as he saw his coach sitting on one of the benches, waiting as it seemed.

 

“Finally, there you are, Vitya…”, the Russian man just grumbled as he stood up from the bench. One cup in his hand, while he left the other on top of the bench. It was probably empty anyway.

Viktor stared at his coach for a while, not believing what he saw. After all, he did think that even Yakov would’ve lost faith in him.

“Quit staring at me like that. As if I would leave one of my students all by themselves in here.” While talking, he stepped forward and handed Viktor the cup he was holding. Still warm, hot chocolate, as it seemed. “To warm you up.” Yakov explained, even though he didn’t need to. Viktor had been in here, training with Yakov for hours, and has been training on his own for quite a while as well. And now that he held the hot cup in his hands, he felt his frozen fingers slowly being warmed up again. He was probably frozen through and through, his lips even slightly blueish.

 

Viktor didn’t say anything. He just bit down on his lip hard, as the tears finally began to flow.

 

Without thinking further, Viktor just let his bag fall to the ground, while he leapt forward to hug his coach tightly. Something he had never done before and Yakov was more than confused. Viktor didn’t care though, as his tears fell, probably staining Yakovs jacket. He just wanted some reassurance. For some reason, he had the feeling that he would feel better, if he just hugged his coach. And it got better. A bit.

Yakov just sighed and patted the others back for a second. “Stop crying already. If you always start to cry when you fall, you’ll never win anything.”

 

At that, Viktors eyes widened a bit and he felt his vision get blurrier and blurrier as more tears filled his eyes. He felt like such a crybaby, but that day was just… too much for him. But instead of letting go, what Yakov was hoping for, to be honest, he just clutched tighter to his coach, crying and sobbing even more.

But this time, he felt a glance of hope. That’s why he was crying more and more.

 

Someone was believing in him.

Someone actually wanted to help him.

 

So maybe, one day, he would actually be on top, and if it was only for once. That would be alright. Just to get a glimpse of that feeling would be enough for the young, Russian boy.

 

He would try.

Viktor Nikiforov was ready to reach for the stars once more.

 

Little did he know, that his whole life would change with the upcoming years.

 

_Little did he know, that he would be on top of it all._

**Author's Note:**

> So there you go.  
> I didn't want to end it on such a sad and depressing note, that's why I thought some comfort would be nice in the end, even if it was just Yakov being a bit annoyed.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!  
> And if you have something to say, anything really, just leave it in the comments! Even some suggestions would be nice!
> 
> Have a lovely day ♥


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